Online Dating: Best Advice and Practices

Aren't you sick of hearing about how awful online dating is? I am. Mostly because, I tried it and it worked out well for me. I not only met my husband but also a bunch of other really nice guys. So why do people bash it? Why do they give sweeping statements like, "It's awful" or "the worst" without specifics on what they did or didn't do?
Not long ago I met a woman who ended her 20-year marriage, and worried about the prospect of dating again. When I asked her if she'd tried Internet dating, she scoffed, "No way! A friend of mine did it and said it was horrible."
Normally, that's where the conversation might end. But I didn't let it go. I asked her how many dates her friend had been on. She wasn't sure. I asked her specifically what her friend said that was "horrible" about it. She didn't know.
As a writer, I need to get to the heart of things. I wrote my book about how to create a profile that gets attention after many daters complained to me that they weren't getting the online attention they desired. Naturally, I asked this woman more questions and she finally admitted that what scared her about Internet dating was that she didn't "get it."
I think it's time for some real information about Internet dating, don't you think?
Don't Fear the Unknown
Online dating scares some midlifers because they've never done it. Plain and simple, they don't understand it. But Internet dating is actually one of the best ways to get introduced to people. It's good for folks who are dating again or are very busy because of the variety of people on the site.
To really determine if Internet dating will work for you or not, you've got to: create a great profile, email people, set up a coffee date, and follow up. Without each one of those components, you aren't really Internet dating.
Don't Listen to Stories From Friends
It takes a lot of things to make Internet dating work, and the first one of those is attitude. If your friend tells you her experience "was horrible," ask her some specifics. When I did this, I found that some daters weren't ready to date at all, let alone online. Many of them admitted that when they got emails from someone, they weren't ready to meet them. Or they put up a lackluster profile half-thinking that if they didn't get a response it would prove that Internet dating wouldn't work anyway.
Self-sabotage happens when you're uncomfortable and not ready for dating again. Just because a friend didn't enjoy Internet dating doesn't mean you won't. Ask them plenty of questions so you can learn from their experience.
Think of Internet Dating As an Introduction
Have you ever asked a friend to set you up with someone? Internet dating does the same thing. It's an introduction. It's not a way to have your perfect mate delivered to your inbox without any work from you. You'll have to make conversation and find out more about someone before you decide if you like them enough for a real date, just like you would if a friend introduced you to someone at a party.
The biggest mistake midlifers make is assuming that they know someone online because they've emailed a few times. They write off people who could be great for them or assume that they've found a love match, all before they've even met the person!
You're Bound to Meet Someone You Don't Click With
Another thing I hear from those down on Internet dating is that they met someone once that they didn't like. Well let me ask you, so then if a friend sets you up, you always like that person? Or if you meet someone out at a party, you always hit it off?
Of course not. You can meet people you don't end up clicking with anywhere. You can meet them yourself, talk with them at the grocery store, and then by the time you go out decide that they're weird and you don't like them. The point is, it takes time to find the right person, regardless of how you meet them.
Internet Dating Takes Time and Patience
I have yet to hear from someone that gave Internet dating a real try (meaning that they put up a good profile, took the time to meet a few folks, and spent three to six months giving it a shot) that said it was horrible. Just the opposite. Very often, when someone tells me they put in the time and patience that Internet dating requires, they ended up meeting someone very special.
Like anything worthwhile in life, Internet is work. It takes time. If it's not for you, that's okay, because they are plenty of other ways to meet people. But if a friend wants to try it, be careful about casually bashing it just because you don't get it.

Three horror tales of online dating

With Internet dating a viable and popular choice, anyone going this route still needs to decide how to select and be selected, judge and be judged.
I say this because of the vast number of stories I hear about online dating disasters and disappointments. For every successful match with a prince/princess (yes, there are stories of extremely happy long-term relationships that started online) a lot of frogs of both genders clutter the path.
Here are some women’s horror stories from the online trenches. (I’ll be happy to publish men’s horror stories if you send them to me.)
I’ll follow up tomorrow, with advice to those who are tired of had online experiences.
Reader 1: “I found that out of all the men’s profiles I was sent, the vast majority contained lies, mostly about age. Or about how long they’d been out of a relationship, if at all. One man said he was living in a basement apartment and visiting his kids on weekends. It didn’t ring true, as he was in banking and talked about making a lot of money, so it seemed strange he was living in someone’s basement.
“On the third date, I insisted he take me to his apartment, as he’d hesitated when I’d previously asked questions about his place. One look and I knew he didn’t live there: no photos, no work-related papers, it looked unused.
“He protested that he wasn’t there much, but when I said I was never going out with him again so he might as well come clean, he confessed he still lived with his wife — but they never slept together. Yeah, right.”
Reader 2: “My profile says I’m athletic, love spending time doing sports and hiking, work in the physical health and fitness field and would never smoke. My photo shows a whole-body view of me in a dress. I am slim and toned. Yet many men who emailed me were visibly and heavily overweight and some were also smokers.
“On the second date with a fit-looking guy who was athletic (though 10 years older than he said), he suggested we stop going out on dates and just eat at home and watch TV.
“In my profile I noted that I love music and being out on the town. I hardly know the guy, so why would I want to settle down to a routine of staying home so fast? It wasn’t about money, because I paid my way on those first two dates, and he had a good job.
“I found that guys like him, in their 40s and never been married, are just too set in their ways.”
Reader 3: “Online dating really did my head in and wounded my self-esteem even though I’m an independent and accomplished woman. Even if I didn’t want to get serious with a guy, the repeated rejections became upsetting. I hadn’t expected to be pursued by everyone, but some people were just too cold. I liked one man enough to sleep with him after a few dates, and he never even texted me the next day or ever called again.
“Nothing negative happened when we had sex. He should’ve at least sent a courtesy text. He could’ve later explained that he’d started to see someone else, whatever.
“I hate the interview people do on those first dates — what could be less boring and more useless than ‘What’s your favourite colour?’ I’d come home whipped and depressed.”

Web scammers fleecing people looking for love

Online dating scam warning signs (DAVID HEMENWAY / Courier Graphic Artist)

WATERLOO, Iowa --- His name was Mark, or at least that's what he told her.
"He was good looking. His picture was, anyway," said the retired Waterloo nurse. She found Mark through an online dating service in January.
The picture he posted was a professional shot, like one might find of in the back of a hardcover novel showing the author.
The story he told her was fascinating.
But by April it was clear the tale Mark was spinning was fiction, and the 58-year-old woman, who asked not to be identified for reasons that will soon become evident, had lost more than $138,000 of her savings to a scam.
"It sucked me in, and I wanted to believe so much," she said.
The woman came forward to describe her ordeal in hopes that other vulnerable people won't fall for the same trap.
"Believe me, you are better off alone," she said.
Capt. Tim Pillack with the Waterloo Police Department confirmed investigators are looking into the con, which involved the woman sending tens of thousands of dollars in cashiers checks and using money transfer companies.
Experts say the scam is common, a variation of schemes that use fake Nigerian oil ministers or bogus sweepstakes. The only difference is the payoff for the victims is supposed to be romance, not lottery winnings.
According to a recently released FBI Internet crime report, authorities looked into 5,668 romance scams in 2011 with losses totaling $50 million. It was the fourth most commonly reported scheme behind work-at-home scams, loan scams and FBI agent impersonation.
"A lot of it we don't hear about, but the matters of the heart where emotions come into play, that's a strong situation," said Al Perales, an investigator with the Iowa Attorney General's Office Consumer Protection Division. "Scammers are all about human nature."
Perales has seen an increase in con artists using dating sites over the past three years, and most are targeting older residents.
The usual scheme involves hooking the victim using kind words and a photograph pilfered from social media or business profile websites.
A newer hook involves scammers claiming to be soldiers, said Frank Kiouna, who helps run RomanceScam.Com, a service to track fraud started in 2005.
In some cases the thief will ask for cash to cover travel expenses, medical bills or some other emergency. He or she may send the victim a check, asking to have it cashed and the money wired back. The check turns out to be counterfeit, and the bank takes the missing money from the victim's account.
"If the first money request has success, then they know they can try again," Kiouna said.
Mark said he was a soccer scout who lived in Nebraska and traveled the world with big bucks to recruit players for the L.A. Galaxy team. He was also planning to build a soccer camp in Nebraska.
The woman said it wasn't the money that drew her in --- she had a comfortable nest egg from savings and an inheritance --- nor was it his face.
She had lived in Nebraska, her father was from there, and she cherished the thought of someday returning to live in the state.
She was starting to develop Parkinson's disease and wasn't looking forward to growing old alone.
Mark, it seemed, was willing to look past her foibles.
They emailed each other and talked on the phone but never met in person.
He said he took off to Malaysia to scout players there and had a $6 million budget. What he didn't spend to sign the players was his to keep.
But he said he was only given a portion of the money to work with, and after three weeks, he needed money to pay taxes and seal the deal. Could she loan him $65,000?
She agreed, and after the first loan, other expenses kept popping up. The woman was concerned that if she didn't pay, Mark would lose the deal, and she wouldn't get her money back.
"It just snowballed, and I kept sending more and more," she said.
Eventually, her bank became suspicious and wouldn't let her wire from her account because it smelled like a scam. Then services like Western Union blocked her for the same reasons.
Relatives and friends warned her, and the woman admitted there were other red flags.
Mark spoke with what he claimed was an inherited accent acquired from Kentucky and Oxford or growing up with Italians and Jamaicans. Police would later tell her it was likely Russian.
One of Mark's associates, who claimed to work for the Galaxy team, wrote in shattered grammar, at one point explaining the "paper works" that needed to be completed to move the money.
And aside from the book-jacket style profile portrait, there were no other pictures, no casual snapshots or vacation pictures. Of course, there couldn't be if the photo was of someone else.
The biggest clue, experts said, was the fact he asked for money.
In the back of her mind, she thought it was likely a scam. But she was torn. There was always the chance it wasn't, and if she didn't continue to help she might not get her money back.
The victim began to admit to herself what she had long suspected during Mark's last request for cash.
He was supposed to fly back to the states so they could sign an agreement that would get her on the path to recovering what she had invested. First he needed a plane ticket and money for other expenses.
But the wiring service had locked her out, so she went to her bank in hopes of getting a cashiers check to send to one of Mark's associates in Florida who could forward the money.
The bank teller refused to sell her the check and called the bank manager in on her day off. In the discussion that followed, the woman broke down, spilling her whole story to the manager.
"It was a huge weight off my shoulders," the woman said.
After she quit sending money, Mark mailed her a $55,000 check and asked her to send back a portion of it. Authorities checked with the bank that allegedly issued it and discovered it was bogus before any money changed hands.
Resigned to the fact she won't recover her losses, the woman has changed her phone number and email addresses. She also entered an identity theft protection program because one of the wire transfers had her Social Security number on it.
But she hasn't given up on finding Mr. Right.
"People say don't stop trusting others," she said.
She met another person through an Internet dating service, and they went on a real date.
Part of Perales' job at the Consumer Protection Division involves talking to relatives of victims who want to help victims see the light.
"They have tunnel vision, and they don't pay attention to all the red flags around them because they are in love," Perales said.
He suggests quizzing the supposed love interest during a phone call. If he says he's from the United States, ask something that should be common knowledge to average Americans. If he says he's a doctor, he should know what a patella is.
When a victim swears the online friend is for real, Perales suggests a friend give him a ring.
Kiouna said there are also a number technological checks one can run. For instance, run the email address through a search engine, or do the same with any poetry they send. Chances are an anti-scam website has it cataloged.
Relationship scams can be reported to the Federal Trade Commission at ftc.gov or 1 (877) 382-4357, the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center at www.ic3.gov, or local police.

By Claire Rutter On May 18, 2012 The Saturdays Vows To Find Mollie King A Boyfriend

Mollie King is trying so hard to prove that she's not going out with Prince Harry that she's revealed that she'll even try online dating to bag herself a new man, and The Saturdays will help her.
During an appearance on ITV1's Lorraine, the blonde pop star revealed that she wanted a new man but that she didn't really know where to find an eligible bachelor.
“I'm single, so the girls are going to set me up on dates I hope,” she explained. “I don't really know where I can meet people."
But it was Frankie Sandford who revealed that online dating is their next experiment to find a man. "We're going to set her up on online dating!", before Mollie added: “Set up my own little account."
Rochelle, who is engaged to Marvin Humes from JLS, knew what she was talking about as she said: "There's even ones for men in uniforms now!"
Mollie said: “I know, I saw that! Uniform Dating that one. Bring me a nice sailor and I'm yes [punches the air], Ahoy!”
Rochelle added: “She keeps getting loads of offers, everyone's always texting me.”
The Saturdays were performing on the show, where they sang their latest single and met David Cameron.

Mollie & Frankie Go Blazing...

Online Dating Gets a Little Less Virtual

Online dating, it’s now universally agreed, has its limits. Among the two biggest glitches: dates who look nothing like their profile pictures and dates who are happy to email but decline to ever actually go on a bodily, non-virtual date. In an effort to combat such digital diversionary tactics, one of the biggest online dating services, Match.com, has decided to get people out from behind their computers to come out and play. Ironic, no?
Regular dating has its glitches too, including extreme initial awkwardness when two people first meet and the even extremer awkwardness of the next few hours when a date proves to be a nonstarter. Match.com believes that with its database of single-but-searching folks, its algorithm for finding compatibility and a little bit of alcohol, it can put together a heck of a singles mixer.
(MORE: Survey Says, He’s Just Not That Into Being Single)
The company has been quietly inviting members to gatherings for the past few years — so far, it has hosted about 60 singles events. After all, it knows where the singles are, and it knows what they say they like. So encouraged has Match been by the results, it’s just launched an event service known as Stir, which will host 2,000 to 3,000 singles parties a year, hitting 24 cities in June and 70 in September.
Since everyone at the events  is looking for a date, the awkwardness is a shared burden and will be easier to shrug off, reasons the company. Also, the dating service is digging deep into its database of 3 million singles, so it can slice and dice the guest list. If it wanted to host a singles event on the south side of Topeka in which everybody was a single parent between the ages of 30 and 40 with an interest in Shar-Pei breeding, it could do that — all while making sure that the ratio of male to female dog lovers is perfectly balanced.
Many companies have already tried to spin their online presence into a singles meetup business, including Howaboutwe, Grouper  and even local public radio stations. Match.com’s advantage here is the size of its singles pool and the depth of information it has about their preferences.
Match’s VP of Strategy and Analytics Amarnath Thombre says the Stir meet-ups are not in response to recent studies that have questioned the effectiveness of compatibility algorithms such as the one Match.com offers but a natural area of development for a company that just wants to get people together. Nevertheless it seems to suggest that online dating might have found its natural limits; it cannot find a mathematical formula for chemistry.
(MORE: Advice for Online Daters: If You’re a Guy, Don’t Smile)
To say the dating company has high ambitions for Stir is an understatement. Match considers its foray into the offline world the biggest news in its 17 years of existence. “We will be the largest singles event company in the world,” predicts Match.com president Mandy Ginsberg. “We could potentially serve half a million people a year.” She also waxes about spurring local economies and revitalizing downtown areas by bringing customers to the local bars where the gatherings take place.
Stir will offer two kinds of events: mixers that come along with monthly membership and activity-specific mixers — a class in mixology or cooking or wine-tasting that attendees will pay extra for. It’s also developing a series of online getting-to-know you games that users who can’t get away from home — half of Match.com’s members are single parents — can use to playfully find out about their potential dates. The games are Family Feud-ish; both players have to answer an opinion question and then compare answers. “Online dating has been an effective way to meet, but it’s not always the best way to get to know someone,” says Ginsberg.
But even games are not nearly as effective a matchmaking tool as actual meetings, acknowledges Ginsburg. “Getting people in front of each other is so important.” In other words, single people, stop reading now.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/18/online-dating-gets-a-little-less-virtual/#ixzz1vWBu4t00

Mr Right is not online

I started internet dating a few years ago. I found that I rarely met single men in my day-to-day life. I work in book publishing, which is made up of about 80 per cent women, and most of my friends are married so my social life consists of going out to dinner with other couples. Internet dating seemed like a good idea; there's a huge cross- section of people out there and I had at least three friends who have married men they found on the internet, which was all quite encouraging.

I was absolutely petrified going on my first date. To be fair, it wasn't under the best circumstances. I was doing it because I thought I ought to get over somebody. Unfortunately the person I met was obviously in the exact same boat and I think neither of us was up for it. He'd just got divorced and I ended up counselling him and by the end of the date I was telling him that he wasn't really ready to meet someone new and that he should probably stay in for a while. He mainly talked about how much he missed his daughter. It was far more tragic than romantic. He was really nice but he was obviously there just because someone had told him to get back on the horse. I discovered that a lot of people throw themselves into it before they're ready.
I didn't give up, though, and looked for more dates. It takes up a lot of time and it can be quite soul-destroying so I tended to do it in bursts. I'd go on about 15 dates over the space of three months and then I'd take some time out and not do it for a while.
When you start, you think it's going to be such fun putting yourself out there, but every single person I know who has done internet dating has had the same experience: out of all the people you contact, not one of them will get back to you. Instead you will get invited out by 65-year-olds from Lincoln with whom you have nothing in common. You get a bit disheartened after you realise it's not quite what you were expecting. Although it seems like a massive pool to choose from, when it gets down to what kind of person you want to meet and who wants to meet you, there's never actually a vast amount of choice. Or at least there wasn't for me. Soon after starting, I was thinking that maybe I was being too picky, maybe the 65-year-old from Lincoln was the one I should be going for. It does have a way of making you doubt yourself.
The problem, I soon discovered, is that there's something inherently peculiar about picking the characteristics of the person you want to date, because in real life the people you end up with almost never tick all those boxes. With internet dating, you're encouraged to be very specific about what you want, but that means you're ignoring tons of people who might actually be perfect for you. Once, I met a random man in a bar who proceeded to chat me up. I thought he seemed familiar but I couldn't quite place him. It then dawned on me that he had rejected me on the dating site about two weeks previously. So on the internet he wasn't interested in me, but in real life, he was flirting with me. It's because the internet is actually a very strange way to decide what you think about a person.
Then there's all the dishonesty. Lots of people lie about their age, which is annoying but I suppose you can understand. But bizarrely, lots of men lie about their height as well, which makes no sense because as soon as you meet them they've been busted. It makes you wonder what else they're lying about. Using a very old photograph is another common thing, so when you meet them they look nothing like their picture. From my experience, if a man is wearing a hat in all his pictures, it usually means he's bald. It's not that I have a problem with how someone looks, but it suggests that they might.
I've got plenty of horror stories. I met somebody who, after exchanging a few emails, texted me just before we met up to say, "By the way, I'm only looking for casual sex so if you're not up for that let's not bother meeting", which was nice from a complete stranger. We never did meet up. Another man looked me in the eye on our first date and told me that he didn't really like internet dating because he found that he was much, much better looking than the women he encountered. Charming. I met up with a guy in a café in Primrose Hill (at his suggestion – I live in south London), and he went on and on about how much he hated social injustice and that being in a place like that made him want to take out a gun and shoot everyone. I guzzled my coffee and left as quickly as I could.
It wasn't all bad. I did have a couple of second dates and I've met plenty of nice people, but there was never anyone I had chemistry with. I can't honestly say that in all those years I met anyone who made my heart beat faster. I've given up now and instead ask my friends to set me up with their friends. That has been a much better experience because there's human involvement in pairing you off together as opposed to it being done by technology, which is flawed. In my new book, Unsuitable Men, the heroine has been with who she thought was the perfect man but he turned out to be all wrong. She realises what she thought was perfect actually isn't, so she starts to date people who are completely off-the-wall to see if she can learn something from that instead. Someone who may seem all wrong for you may actually be right. But the flaw in internet dating is that it doesn't allow you that.
I wouldn't tell someone never to try it, but I would warn people to approach it with caution. Treat it as a bit of fun and keep your expectations very low. Going on dates and sitting with strangers with whom you have absolutely nothing in common will make you realise how misleading the internet is in making you think you might have something in common with someone. Now I prefer to suss people out in person. It becomes a lot less strange to just speak to a complete stranger in a café or strike up a conversation with whoever in a bar after you've been on a date with someone who thought the Jews made too much of a fuss over the Holocaust.
Interview by Gillian Orr. Pippa Wright's novel, 'Unsuitable Men', is published by Pan Macmillan, £6.99

Stargazer Video Chat Celebrates One Million Visitors to its Online Dating and Video Chat Website this Year

Stargazer Video Chat, a unique video chat rooms and online dating site, has recently announced that it has passed the one million visitor watershed already this year. This is a simple service with a plethora of features designed to make meeting other single people a simple, safe and fun experience.
Free online dating sites have matured significantly in recent years, and users now expect their site of choice to be equipped with the kinds of features which facilitate simple and secure networking. Stargazer Video Chat designed its website to be simple and to the point, which appeals to the current generation of users, who are tired of searchable profiles and want a simple way to meet others.
Stargazer Video Chat understands that in the world of many dating sites it is important to provide an exceptional value to its users, and the most important factor in online dating is an ability to participate in an active dating community and to be able to see and meet many people. Extended user profiles and a very advanced search function helps singles to find, connect and communicate with the kind of people they are attracted to, but there is nothing like being able to meet others using live video chat without relying on automated match making.
The inclusion of live video chat is a key feature that Stargazer Video Chat is using as the backbone of its online dating site. By allowing people to see, speak and communicate with each other in real time, Stargazer Video Chat has removed the limits of purely text based communication. This also solves problems that are traditionally associated with people using fake or outdated information in their profiles. By using the video chat feature, people can instantly evaluate the other party, which prevents people from becoming attached to another individual who is in realty, nothing like the person they describe themselves.
Andre Starr, the founder of Stargazer Video Chat, adds: "I am pleased to have hit the one million visitor mark so early this year, and believe that the reason for this sharp increase in traffic is the quality of our community. I always aim to bring something new to the market, something fresh that makes people say Wow! This is cool! I aim to provide a very social experience, more of a community than a peer to peer style of online dating. I think this is a good balance between personal security and the ability to freely connect with people. Having over a million visitors since the beginning of the year leads me to believe we have got things right."
Stargazer Video Chat operates within a very competitive market. The strategy it has employed, to provide an innovative type of online dating site, should help it to continue developing its position as one of the most unique online dating sites.

Are Online Dating Services a Waste of Money?

Jonathan Kitchen / Getty Images

Based on the numbers alone, the advantages of online dating services seem obvious. The sites grant access to larger pools of potential dates than you could ever find on your own, and the more people you connect with, the greater the chance is that one of those people could be your soul mate. Some sites even promise “scientific formulas” to create perfect matches, making it sound as if the odds of finding true love are all but guaranteed. Unfortunately, though, just like that certain someone who fails to call for a follow-up date, there are indications these sites don’t come through on their promises.
A team of researchers led by Eli Finkel, a professor of social psychology at Northwestern University, decided to test the claims of dating sites by comparing the likelihood that users would not only find, but also stick with their “online soul mates” for the long haul. Their study, published in Psychological Science and summarized in a New York Times op-ed, concludes that even though as many as 25 million people per month seek matches through online dating services, these individuals are no more likely to find their soul mates than people who hook up with partners through conventional methods—singles bars, blind dates, friends of friends.
(MORE: Here’s How Your Identity Will Be Stolen: The Top 10 Scams)
What’s worse, online dating services make claims that are largely unfounded. Sites may say they use scientific methods and proven algorithms as the basis for matching, but they don’t release the data due to proprietary reasons, or the data they produce don’t fit the criteria for scientific acceptability. Dating sites don’t use controlled studies, for example, which would be nearly impossible. These issues haven’t stopped promoters from making outlandish, unproven claims, such as the bizarre one from GenePartner, a site that says its matchmaking abilities are superior because it incorporates users’ DNA: “Now, hard science is making it easier to find true love. A new matchmaking system uses DNA to help find your dream date, and it’s redefining what it means to be compatible.”
Flawed though these sites are, many singles still view them as the best option. And while you can’t put a price on love, you can at least try to spend your money on dating sites in the smartest way possible. With prices ranging from totally free to $60 per month, how can you get the most for your money with online dating services? Some strategies:
Limit your time and your choices. You might assume that the more choices you have, the greater your chances are of finding that one ideal mate. This actually goes counter to psychological research on decision-making. Whether it’s picking a T-shirt from a range of 20 different colors, or finding an online match among thousands, “choice overload” has been proven to lead people to make worse choices. In studies, people tend to make smarter, more sensible picks when selecting from a smaller batch (6 to 10) compared to dozens or options. With a dating site, what’s likely to happen is that you’ll closely scrutinize the first few profiles that pop up in your search, but after that, your brain gets tired. You start skimming, and the search becomes somewhat random. As a result, you may ignore or skip past perfectly good choices that pop up later. To avoid this problem, limit your searches in terms of profiles and time. Each person works differently, but it’s probably unwise to scan through more than two dozen profiles in a single sitting. If you can’t recall a single thing about a profile seconds after checking it out, it’s time to take a break.
(MORE: A Mom’s Work Is Worth $113K Annually. Or Maybe About Half That)
Match up with the right site. One easy way to narrow your options is to choose your site carefully. Large dating sites with upwards of 2.5 million users (eHarmony, PlentyofFish, Match, True) promise more potential dates, but because they are so generic you may have less of a chance of finding someone who shares qualities that you value. It’s OK—good, even—to have fewer choices, so long as they’re better ones. Niche dating sites might be just the answer. If you’re highly educated and seeking a highly educated partner, Right Stuff Dating (“The Ivy League of Dating”) may be right for you. People who want to date British guys may, naturally, want to check out DateBritishGuys.com. A special breed of single might instead be drawn to FarmersOnly.com (“Because city folks just don’t get it”). For help finding and getting a feel for various dating sites, check out resources from Real Simple, OnlineDatingSites.net, ConsumerSearch, and Consumer Rankings.
Keep an open mind. Don’t assume right away that someone who misses out on a supposedly key quality (like height) should automatically be eliminated as a prospect. Start with a broader list of criteria, and give yourself enough time to study all of the qualities in a profile to get an overall sense of who the person is. It’d be a shame if someone was off your radar due to height when you and this person have the exact same taste in movies or music.
(MORE: Millennials Are Biggest Suckers for Selfish Impulse Buys)
Don’t buy into the “scientific method” hype. The formulas that sites use don’t stand up to scientific scrutiny. You’re better off using a site that allows you to interact with potential partners sooner than later, particularly if you are able to meet them in person. People often form erroneous impressions from online communications. Once formed, these impressions can lead to shattered expectations when you actually come face to face. So, scary as it may seem, try to meet your online choices in person asap. The truth is that you can’t substitute a scientific formula or digital communications for the vibes you get when you actually meet someone in the flesh.
The bottom line? If you want Cupid’s arrow to strike you from the online dating cloud, don’t be sucked in by false scientific claims or millions of dating choices. Select the sites that make the most sense for you, don’t overwhelm yourself with too many options, and don’t waste your effort and money on extensive profiling. Know what you want before you log on, but allow yourself to be surprised when the seemingly not-so-perfect choice turns out to the one who rocks your world.

Read more: http://moneyland.time.com/2012/05/01/are-online-dating-services-a-waste-of-money/#ixzz1tf8X8ftV

Online dating now the norm?

A few years ago when I met my husband online, Internet dating wasn't widely accepted. Now, not only is it accepted, but it's also almost expected.
Back then it had a stigma, but when my older brother tried and suggested e-dating, I reluctantly www.ent for it too.
So I logged on, input my guy-teria, and lo and behold, who's the first match to pop up on my screen? My brother.
One major hurl later -- and one day before my 30-day free membership expiry -- I met my future husband (who couldn't be any more different than my brother). We started off as long-distance friends of two years, then a couple, and now we're just part of the growing statistics literally marrying online to offline.
When it began in 1995, who knew Internet dating would become a bigger industry than porn.
Between 2007 and 2012 the online dating industry more than doubled its revenue, going from $900 million to $1.9 billion annually, and had a jump in visitors from 20 million to 40 million a year, according to information from MBAprograms.org.
With an estimated 1,500 sites there's something for every singleton, including farmers, over-50s, single parents, religious-minded, marriage-seekers, booty-callers, and there's even Positivesingles.com -- for those with HIV and other STDs.
But it's not just dating sites matching mates; it's social media too. After all, how many people use Facebook's relationship status as a free advertisement? A British survey found 72% of respondents used both dating sites and social networks to search for love, while 19% used social media sites alone.
And about half the people surveyed by research firm Synovate believe web dating is a great way to meet their match. Even people who don't like it agree.
"I just really, really dislike online dating. But, I feel I have to do it anyway," says Samantha Tate. The 35-year-old cites the same need for it that many studies indicate: She has to look outside her own social circles to find someone, and long work hours equate to less workin' it hours.
So much like online shopping allows us to furnish our homes or closets in a click, it also allows us to furnish our relationships.
Jennifer Gibbs is an associate professor of communication at Rutgers University in New Jersey, who has done in-depth research on the subject (including meeting her husband online).
She says it can promote "relationshopping" (people-shopping and selling themselves) more than "relationshipping."
"Online dating can be a great portal or introduction, but it's just the first step and needs to be followed up with relationshipping to develop a relationship, a lot of which does happen offline," she says.
With relationshopping come picky buyers. Gibbs notes exaggerated importance is often placed on small cues such as typos, which can lead to quick rejection.
"It's easy for someone to decide they only want to date men 6 feet or taller, and filter out someone who is 5'11 -- when in person an inch of height difference would not be perceptible."
It may come as a surprise, but Gibbs thinks that most online dating participants strive to present themselves honestly. "My colleagues and I did find a lot of embellishment in our research, as many online daters do try to present an ideal version of themselves to attract potential partners -- in the same way that job-seekers embellish their resumes."
But she says it's mostly "white lies," and participants found lies were a waste since the truth comes out by the first date or later.
In the end, looking for love online may not be for you. The same way it wasn't for me -- the person who met her husband online

How I Became An Online Dating Coach

Ah, online dating. Some people love it. Some people hate it. I'm in the former category, and I always tell skeptics, if you meet the love of your life online, you won't care how the heck you met — you'll just be thrilled that you did!
My name is Erika, and I live in Washington, D.C. I always knew that the man of my dreams was out there, but sometimes you just need a little nudge to find him. So, I decided to join JDate. I had dabbled in the past, but this time, I was really going for it. I perfected my profile and e-mails to a point that my "hit rate," or percentage of guys who responded to my initial e-mail was over 60%, almost unheard of in the online dating world. YourTango Experts Presents ... Online Dating Bootcamp! EXPERT

I found it fun to test which e-mails worked, switch my pictures occasionally to see which drove more traffic to my profile, and even signed my e-mails differently every time. Basically, I learned what worked in my own personal experiment. And then, finally, after over 120 dates, on December 4th, 2009, I did it. I walked into the bar and met Jeremy — my last JDate.
Jeremy and I always joke about the fact that I went on so many dates, yet I was only his fourth JDate ever. I was of the philosophy that you never know if you'll click with someone until you meet in person, so I erred on the side of meeting more people, which I still believe is the best way to do it.
Before I founded A Little Nudge, where I help people with all aspects of online dating, I was an economist for over seven years. While I liked my job for a while, by the last year and a half, I was itching to leave. I didn't even realize it was that long, but Jeremy reminded me that very early on in our relationship, he had asked me how my work day went, and I actually got angry with him. Over the next year, I would get frustrated every time Jeremy asked how my day went, which is, of course, not normal. And if you know me at all, you know that I'm happy 99.872% of the time. Top 10 Tips For Designing Your Online Dating Profile EXPERT
I had considered different options for a career change, but when it came down to it, I always went back to online dating. It was simple — I loved what online dating could do for people, and my love of it made me want to help others with the process. Friends were already coming to me to ask for help with their pictures, profile, and e-mails. This was my calling. One fateful night at a Thai restaurant in Georgetown, as I was lamenting about life in a cubicle, Jeremy said, "Why don't you just quit your job and start the dating business? That's what will make you happy." And the rest is history.

RealRussianMatch.com Announces Very First of Their Guide to Online Dating

RealRussianMatch.com has certainly fairly recently declared the launch of their new website ranking as well as examining the very best courting internet sites. They have certainly made it their aims find just what they believe are the flat out leading dating sites offered online today.

RealRussianMatch.com has actually declared the very first of a brand-new website for uncovering the greatest dating websites readily available today. The major objective and aim of the RealRussianMatch.com website is to provide info regarding internet dating web sites in a non-biased manner. The designers of the RealRussianMatch.com site stated, "We grant our website visitors certain information pertaining to each internet site, saving them the difficulty of searching out as well as registering a variety of internet sites simply to get fundamental info. Our info can easily aid individuals to make decisions relating to which site is to be considered the best, as well as people, who are so glad to make this easy to do!"

The list of the best dating web sites on the Internet is located on the front website of the recently launched an internet site in the 5 Greatest Courting Websites listing. This listing was made after an exhaustive exam for all of the very best dating sites on the Internet today, and also according to the RealRussianMatch.com site owners, the on the internet dating sites that attain a spot on the listing of the best five, have to acquire that honour. The list is frequently re-evaluated and also in the occasion that new sites warrant incorporation to their recommended courting sites listing; those internet sites are going to be added to the list.

Each of the courting websites that are consisted of in the best five listing as well as in the courting website assessments section is reviewed in detail, taking into account all of the variables that have certainly been verified to be the most essential ones in deciding on courting internet sites. The reviews for each courting website incorporate an examination of the registration costs, the associating area of the internet website, same with a review of the interface examining method for the site.

One more attribute of the brand-new RealRussianMatch.com is the Online Adult dating Manual which features ideas on online dating safety as well as several many other subjects featuring debut notions, the courtesy of internet dating, precisely how to select a courting internet site, points for being a triumph at internet dating, recuperating from a break up, and also a comparison of online and also offline dating.

The proprietors of RealRussianMatch.com state that they prefer site website visitors to be conscious that they are placing a massive focus on security with online courting internet sites. The websites that are advised on this website are ones which have higher degrees of security, and also the websites which maintain all individual information under individual authority at all times. For instance, the website is going to endorse internet sites that permit their individuals to make the selection regarding exactly what info is distributed with possible matches.

Additional themes that are covered on the internet site incorporate those such as how to create the very initial message to a person one is interested in, just how to make a decision to which of the matches are the most proper, and precisely how to handle talks and instant messaging by having others on internet courting sites.


About the RealRussianMatch.com
RealRussianMatch.com offers Relationship dating coach specializing in Russian woman - Western man relationships. A unique, highly personalized, one-on-one service helping Western men find, communicate and develop a relationship with beautiful, family oriented Russian women directly, without a middle man or a mail order bride agency involvement.

Three niche dating sites for targeted romance

Sometimes you don't really want to wade through suite after suite of suitors to find a good match, our Netiquette columnists say.

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• Here are three niche sites for those who want to narrow the vast online-dating pool
• Single Fit People is a dating site specifically for those who love to work out
• Tastebuds.fm allows you to easily port over your musical interests
• For about $15 a pop, Tawkify matches potential soulmates based on their Klout scores

(CNN) -- Ah, springtime! When a young single person's fancy turns to quiet desperation. The darling buds of April have shaken off their veils of snow, and you, dear reader, have done likewise with your veils of fleece and SAD-induced despair.

Months of picnics, outdoor shows and wine-sodden nights in summertime finery (or, at the very least, jean shorts and well-worn wife beaters -- however it is you roll) stretch out before you. Now all you need is someone to share them with, right?

Might we suggest spending those last few weeks of mixed-bag weather doing what any red-blooded human does when they're looking for answers: Stay inside and troll the Web.

"I've tried looking online for love!" you may cry -- quite literally. "OkCupid was too arty (and unemployed) for my tastes, Match.com was replete with pleats and Wall Streets! And Craigslist, well... I need a shower. In bleach."

We get it. Sometimes you don't really want to wade through suite after suite of suitors to find the perfect co-picnicker -- I mean, we live in a society where we want everything from our coffee to our movies to be instant.

So why not narrow down the search a bit via a superspecific online dating site?

Seriously, guys, there's someone out there for everyone, and apparently some enterprising developers (just the folks you should trust for love advice) have gone and cataloged them all. Read on for three extremely calculating sites for satiating that aforementioned quiet desperation.

(NB: Shared interests don't always equate to true love -- we know this. Mostly we just find these sites amusing.)

If you like to sweat on a date (in a nonsexy way) ...

From the running track to the weight room to the yoga studio you roam, counting the multiplying packs of your abs, marinating in your own sweat and hoping against hope that that dude -- the one who always parks his yoga mat unnecessarily close to yours, making for optimal ass-viewing -- will ask you to go for a smoothie after the last "Ommmm."

Usually you're so bold -- you with your hot pink spandex and ability to bench-press your twin bed. But in his presence, all you can do to contain your ardor is assume a child's pose and weep salty, sweat-mingled tears.

Well, muscle-bound dear, dry your eyes (and perhaps take a shower, too). There's a dating site out there specifically designed for you: Single Fit People.

This free (for the time being) Boston-based matchmaking machine allows folks who like to work out to find other folks who like to work out to ... you know, work out/make out with. The site even organizes events where singles can mingle and run around and stuff.

Yup, on this site, a red face is more likely to connote the blush of love, rather than an abrupt cessation of physical exertion.

If 'our song' is likely to be super obscure ...

In recent years, you have taken to going to shows alone, parking yourself in the corner with a brimming glass of whiskey and a brimming heart -- and no one to share them with. Yes, in the past, suitors have attempted to share your love -- nay, indefatigable PASSION -- for music.

But many, obviously intimidated by your vast breadth of knowledge, have left mix tapes half composed (Dashboard Confessional? Seriously?), attempted to talk to you while your third-favorite Seapunk band took the stage, and -- perhaps most unsettlingly -- just put their iPods on shuffle while y'all were making out.

Luckily for you, there's a free resource on the market that will help you avoid anyone out there who "likes everything but rap and country": Tastebuds.fm.

The site allows you to easily port over your musical interests from Facebook or Last.fm so as to weed out anyone not familiar with that most important holiday in the world, Record Store Day.

The site even has a feature whereby you can search for events in your area and people to attend them with, so perhaps you can share that whiskey (and heart) with someone special, or at least sort of special, next time around.

You're a social media 'ninja' ...

You have SO MANY FRIENDS. Seriously, like 10,000 Twitter followers, a million stalkers on Foursquare, and Facebook -- well, let's just say you had to create a Fan Page for yourself after you hit the friend limit. If a potential date wants to get on your radar, they'll have to send you a tweet.

You're just so superbusy at-replying, posting interesting articles to your friends' walls and checking into the bodega around the corner each night when you pick up your frozen pizza for one (gotta maintain that Mayorship!).

Still, sometimes -- amidst the pings, love-red notifications and badges -- you feel a deep, dark force sucking at your heart. An emptiness even Instagram for Android failed to fill.

Somewhere out there, however, there's another soul aching and tweeting and pinging right along with you, and a little site called Tawkify aims to act as your guide through the morass of online social interactions.

For about $15 a pop, Tawkify matches up potential soulmates based on their Klout scores (a service that measures your social influence online) as well as other factors, and sets up phone dates so they can get to know each other the only way they know how -- from the comfort of their own cave-like homes.

Seniors searching for love turning to online dating

Trying to date at any age can be daunting and disheartening, but it could be even more difficult for folks over 55.

AARP released data from a member's survey that showed the top three complaints of singles in their 50s.
For men, the top complaints were partners with a lot of baggage, women being too difficult to get along with and women who want to get too serious too fast.
Women had similar complaints when it came to dating men. Their top three complaints were partners with a lot of baggage, not a clue where to find available men and men who want to get too serious too fast
In the love search, it appears singles who are over 55 are looking for love online by the thousands. In fact, recent numbers from Nielsen researchers show computer users in this demographic accounted for 16.7 percent of all traffic to online personal sites.
Another study showed the 50 and over demographic is the fastest growing group of subscribers for online dating.
Bonnie Wills, a Valley matchmaker, said for those in that age group who feel comfortable seeking love online, go for it.
Wills said it's tough to find a suitable partner, so don't stick to just searching online. She suggested finding pastimes and hobbies.
"Live your own life," she said. "When you do that, chances are you'll attract someone who shares the same interests.

The website matching rich men who want to take 'attractive' women on free vacations... but is it safe?

A new dating website has launched which aims to pair rich men who don't like to travel alone, with attractive women who want a free vacation.
In what vaguely resembles an escort agency, although the site claims otherwise, MissTravel.com guarantees a mutually beneficial arrangement as 'the only online dating website for travelers'.
Similar to Sugar Daddy dating websites with a globetrotting theme, the Generous travelling member is expected to pay all travel expenses for Attractive' travelling members'.

Online-dating: A new website has launched which aims to pair rich men who don't like to travel alone, with attractive women who want a free vacation

'Attractive travellers' can either accepting a 'generous traveller's' proposal to visit his or her home town, or go on a trip together.

MissTravel.com also offers 'benefits' as a way to entice women to the site, providing a points based incentive system.

 

More...

• Students join controversial sugar daddy dating site in their droves - as founder says soaring British university fees are to blame
• 'We're no Samantha Brick': Just one in eight women have the confidence to call themselves 'attractive'

The site explains: 'Generous members have the ability to gift frequent flyer points to Attractive members (hence gifting them the gift of travel).
It continues: 'Attractive members who accumulate enough frequent flyer points may redeem them for free airline tickets and hotel rooms, allowing them the opportunity to travel the world for free.'

Online-dating: The site matches 'Generous travelers who hate to travel alone with Attractive travelers who would love the opportunity to travel the world for free'

A writer at Jezebel signed up as an Attractive Female to see what the site was really like, and concluded that: 'It's pretty much exactly like a regular dating site'
They wrote: 'There are chiseled orange heirs on yachts who are probably liars, bewigged white executives looking for "black or mixed females only," faux-poetic blowhards spouting bullshit they think makes them sound sensitive ("You have been accused of having too much heart but you know in your soul this is the only way to be"), really really sad and lonely people who are painful to look at, and a [lot of] of gross married dudes.
Jezebel points out that while lonely people have the right to buy company if they so choose, and women are equally allowed to make their own 'possibly bad' choices, this particular site has the ability to facilitate a large amount of coercion.

Safety first: There is an obvious power imbalance swaying in favour of the Generous traveller, leading to possible coercion on the site

One could argue that it is mutually-beneficial, reasoning that the women are using and objectifying the men as much as the men are using and objectifying the women.
However there is an obvious power imbalance, swaying in favour of the 'generous traveller'.
As Jezebel points out: 'You're not just on a date with this person - this rich, powerful stranger - you're on a boat, you're in a hotel room, you're in fu**ing Thailand or some sh*t.'
The site also disclaims it does not do its own background checks on its members.
Which is a potentially scary position to be in for a girl who finds herself 5,000 miles away from home with a stranger, only to realise she doesn't want to 'put out'.

MissTravel: New Online Dating Site Pairs Beautiful Women With Wealthy Men For Travel

Misstravel Who needs money? Beautiful people travel free. No, Samantha Brick has not written another Daily Mail article on the perks (and pitfalls) of being so attractive. Instead, that's the motto of MissTravel, a new dating website that pairs wealthy, worldly men with beautiful women who want to explore exciting destinations but lack the means. The site breaks members down into two groups: those who are "attractive" and those who are "generous" (there is no third category for women who are good-looking and wealthy, so if you're both, you may be out of luck). The raspy voice behind the promotional video promises women they can stay at five-star resorts, experience fine dining and 'do the fun things travelers do' all for free. The only requirement to make you eligible to find a "travel buddy" is that you be attractive (accounts are subject to approval following photo evaluations). As for who's footing the bill for these trips, the site says they have thousands of doctors, lawyers, bankers, athletes, executives, entrepreneurs and profession-uncategorized millionaires. MissTravel also features an incentive system whereby generous members can gift the attractive members frequent flyer points that they can redeem for airline tickets and hotel rooms. So despite the fact that the site purports itself as just another online dating service looking to help singles find love, as Jezebel points out, the reward they advertise for a woman who travels with rich men enough is eventually getting to travel on her own. "It's like one of those sugar daddy websites, only with a jaunty globetrotting theme," Lindy West, author of the Jezebel post wrote. "It's the Explorers Club meets Ashley Madison. (Do you like your Sherpa guide, but just wish he had bigger boobs and less interest in you as a person?)" It's easy to see how one might start making comparisons to sites like Seeking Arrangements, which matches young women (some of whom are looking to pay for college) with older men willing to provide them a comfortable lifestyle in exchange for companionship, a potentially vague notion. It gets even easier to make such comparisons when reading MissTravel's about our founder section which confirms that the man behind it and the man behind Seeking Arrangements, Seeking Millionaires and What's Your Price -- all sites accused of sounding a lot like legalized prostitution -- are one in the same. Even the sites' users have admitted the lines can get a bit blurry at times: in 2009, one Seeking Arrangements user told the New York Times that with her sugar daddy, “I don’t feel like a prostitute, though maybe I am." Lest anyone get the wrong idea about what traveling with a generous companion might imply or entail for the women, MissTravel attempts to preempt concerns about impropriety with a no-smoking'esque we-don't-welcome-escorts sign. "Our members expect to find genuine profiles, with genuine opportunities to fall in love and enter into a relationship," the disclaimer reads. "We understand that every member has a different motivation for joining this site, but we do not support any members who are registering as escorts. This is not an escort site, nor will we permit any type of escorting on this site. MissTravel.com is strictly an online dating service for people who are looking for a travel partner." Still, the site is self-aware enough to warn users that despite its goal of helping travel enthusiasts find love, by nature, what it's proposing could end up being not so safe: one of their instructional steps is to "Use common sense."

Online Dating Websites Announces Debut of their Guide to Online Dating

OnlineDatingWebsites.net has announced the debut of a new site for finding the best dating websites available today. The primary purpose and goal of the OnlineDatingWebsites.net site is to offer information about online dating websites in a non-biased manner. The creators of the OnlineDatingWebsites.net site said, "We give our site visitors specific details about each site, saving them the trouble of searching out and joining a multitude of sites just to get basic information. Our information can help people to make decisions about which site is the right one for them to consider joining, and we are so glad to make this easy to do!"

The list of the best dating websites on the Internet is found on the front page of the newly launched site in the "5 Best Dating Websites" list. This list was compiled after an exhaustive evaluation for all of the best dating websites on the Internet today, and according to the OnlineDatingWebsites.net site owners, the online dating websites that earn a spot on the list of the top five, have to truly earn that honor. The list is regularly re-evaluated and in the event that new sites warrant inclusion to their best dating websites list, those sites will be added to the list.

Each of the dating websites that is included in the top five list and in the dating website reviews section is reviewed in detail, taking into consideration all of the factors that have been proven to be the most important ones in selecting dating websites. The reviews for each dating website include an examination of the membership prices, the member area of the site, and a review of the compatibility testing process for the site.

Another feature of the new OnlineDatingWebsites.net is the "Online Dating Guide," which features tips on online dating safety as well as various other topics including first date ideas, the etiquette of online dating, how to select a dating website, tips for being a success at online dating, recovering from a break up, and a comparison of online and offline dating.

The owners of OnlineDatingWebsites.net say that they want site visitors to be aware that they are placing a heavy focus on safety with online dating sites. The websites that are recommended on this site are ones which have high levels of security, and the sites which keep all personal information under user control at all times. For example, the site will only recommend sites that allow their users to make the decision about exactly what information is shared with potential matches.

Other topics that are covered on the site include those such as how to write your very first message to a person you are interested in, how to decide which of your matches are the most appropriate for you, and how to handle conversations and instant messaging with others on online dating websites.

Single adults over 50 turning to online dating

• 
  

Written by

 Lindsey Tugman

UNDATED (CNN) -- Can people in their 50's find real love on line? The thought is daunting for some baby boomers.
Suzanne Forman is on a blind date, with Todd Grodnick, who she's only met on the phone. Like many unmarried baby boomers, Forman considers companionship more important in her 50s. Forman says, "I mean I can't believe I'm 55. I feel like I'm still 20 or 30 something. I still have that energy. I still have you know that spark that uhm but I do have a lot of candles on my cake."
Introductions through friends and relatives haven't worked. Forman says, "They kept trying to set me up with friends of theirs and each one was just worst than the next. I was a vegetarian and one of the guys they set me up with took me to a Morroccan restaurant and ate raw meat in front of me."
So Forman, and a growing number of singles over 50, are going online find potential matches. Staci Dansey is a 61-year-old real estate agent. She says, "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life alone."
After her marriage ended, Dancy's daughter-in-law made a suggestion. Dansey says, "She said, oh you've got to get on one of those on-line dating sites. And I said I don't think so."
Then her daughter told her about OurTime.com, a dating site for those over 50. Dansey says, "There has been a perfect storm of with a growing number of baby boomers who are single, with a growing number of baby boomers using the internet, and discovering that it's a way to be connected."
Dr. Gail SAltz with OurTime.com says, "It's just a numbers game. The more people I meet the greater the odds that I will meet a guy who wants to have a loving warm committed serious monogamous relationship."
A 2010 eHarmony survey found the Internet is now the most popular way for people over 50 to meet and marry. Gia Gonzaga with eHarmony says, "I've always thought the idea that the older generation is afraid of technology is overblown, because they now seem to adopt it, and adopt it in numbers just as much as everybody else does."
Widow Vange LeClarc and divorce Rob Foss met online in 2008. Foss says, "I had been married so long I'd kind of forgotten the process, so I was like a duck out of water."
Both liked the idea of viewing and reading about potential dates before agreeing to meet. LeClare says, "I think it's less intimidating than going out there and meeting someone at a, ya know, bar."
Dating after 50 is different. Foss says, "We each have assets now. When I was in my 20s, I owned a stereo and a used car."
But the results can be the same. Foss and LeClarc are planning a Hawaiian wedding next year.

Is Online Dating Really Worthwhile?

Find out if online dating is really worth all the hard work and headaches.

... featuring an interview with YourTango Expert Joe Amoia.

Welcome to YourTango Experts' Online Dating Bootcamp: Day 2! Today is all about getting to the bottom of the burning question: is online dating really worth all the hard work and headaches it can cause? Our editorial team sat down with YourTango Expert Joe Amoia to find out. (Wanna brush up on Bootcamp Day 1? Start here.)
With thousands of single guys and sites to choose from, the thought of online dating can be pretty daunting. However, if you've reached the conclusion that online dating is more stressful than it's worth, think again. In the interview below, YourTango Expert Joe Amoia discusses the many perils of online dating. As it turns out, it isn't so scary after all ... and it's certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Why Your Online Dating Profile Doesn't Work EXPERT
YourTango: Hi, Joe. Let's dive right in. What's the most common complaint women have about online dating?

Joe: Women are discouraged. A lot of them have tried it, had bad experiences, and adopted a been-there, done-that attitude. They're convinced that if it didn't work the first time, it never will.
YourTango: Interesting. Do men feel the same way?
Joe: Well, first you have to differentiate between the men and the boys. The boys are the ones who are out there just looking to prey on women, and they aren't frustrated or discouraged at all because they're taking advantage of women who are vulnerable. The men, on the other hand, are just as frustrated as the women. They ask, "Why can't I meet a good woman? I know they're out there."
The trick for both men and women is to understand how to play this game. Unfortunately, a lot of people waste their time looking for Mr. or Mrs. Perfect. Then, as soon as someone better comes along, they lose interest. Then what happens is that they miss out on great opportunities that are right in front of them. YourTango Experts Presents ... Online Dating Bootcamp! EXPERT
YourTango: Wow, that's interesting. So, here's an important question: how can women distinguish the men from the boys?
Joe: The biggest thing is for women to get clear on what exactly they are looking for. You know, what's the type of guy they want? Once you're clear on that, it makes it easy to identify if the guy you're talking with is even that type of guy. Very often in this online dating world, they're looking for someone just because he's a guy. Okay, well he's a guy, but whether you are really good for each other is a whole other question.
YourTango: So, your advice is for women go into online dating with a clear understanding of what they want?
Joe: Yes. I call it starting with the end in mind. What end results are you trying to get? Are you trying to find a guy who will willfully walk you down the aisle? Are you just here to have some fun and need the guy to bring you to a concert because you have nobody else? Are you here to just date a lot? Really, what's your purpose? What are you here for?
YourTango: Okay, so for those of us who have tried online dating and can't help but feel a little bit like it's a last resort, like, "I'm not meeting guys any other way, so I'm just gonna try online dating." How do we get over that?

Why online dating is so addictive

My return to dating websites this week has been like getting reacquainted with a crack habit. That familiar warm, fuzzy feeling came flooding back as I perused the legions of smiling thumbnails, luring me back into their lonely world with hot promises of everlasting love.

After a recent period of cold turkey from online dating, I was apparently rehabilitated. I had no cravings, no regrets. But now that I'm back online, chatting to a brunette from Dulwich calling herself "Sandy80", that's all gone out of the window and I'm wondering why I ever left. I've got the buzz again. And it has brought with it waves of clarity. I've suddenly worked out why online dating is so addictive
One of my long-standing issues with these sites is the amount of ugly people on them. I'd estimate the proportion of monsters at roughly 85 per cent. Very often a message will pop into your inbox, prompting a jolt of excitement, and then you'll see the sender's face and be disappointed. It stands to reason that this will happen, because the unattractive are more likely to be unattached.
But I've now realised this doesn't matter. If there are 1,000 girls online and 850 of them are butters, there are still 150 left, which is an enormous amount to choose from.
Invariably, most of these will also be culled for various reasons: poor spelling, inconvenient height, flabby arms, racist views. But as these undesirables are weeded out, you'll gradually form a fairly promising shortlist. Like X Factor finalists, they have passed numerous cruel auditions and beat off huge competition. So by definition, those that remain will be close to perfection - and it's much easier to attain perfection on paper.
That is why online dating is so addictive.

Online dating scams break hearts, empty wallets: expert

The trauma caused by online dating scams is worse than any other, because the victims experienced ‘double hit’ – loss of money and loss of ‘romantic relationship hit’ – says an expert.
Professor Monica Whitty, of the University of Leicester, also revealed that online dating scammers groom their victims by developing ‘hyper-personal’ relationships.
Professor Whitty’s study focused on fraud where criminals set up fake identities using stolen photographs (often of models or army officers) and pretend to develop a romantic relationship with their victim.
This is often done using online dating sites and social networking sites. At some point during the relationship they pretend to be in urgent need of money and ask for help. Many victims have been persuaded to part with large sums of money before their suspicions are aroused.
To find out what techniques scammers use 15 victims were interviewed (11 women; four men).
Professor Whitty asked them about their relationship history; what psychological state they were in before the scam; the full description of the scam; why they believe they were persuaded to part with money (if they did); details of what happened after the scam (eg how police dealt with it); how they were psychologically affected by the scam; and what their current state is.
The results showed that basic marketing techniques were used to groom victims, increasing the feelings of a genuine relationship and leaving victims susceptible to fraud.
“Our data suggests that the numbers of British victims of this relatively new crime is much higher than reported incidents show. It also confirms law enforcement suspicions that this is an underreported crime, and thus more serious than first thought,” said Professor Whitty.

“This is a concern not solely because people are losing large sums of money to these criminals, but also because of the psychological impact experienced by victims of this crime. It is our view that the trauma caused by this scam is worse than any other, because of the ‘double hit’ experienced by the victims – loss of money and loss of ‘romantic relationship,’” she noted.
Elsewhere in the study Dr Tom Buchanan (University of Westminster) looked at the psychological characteristics of victims. Over 1000 participants answered an online questionnaire.
The responses showed that people with strong romantic beliefs, who idealised romantic partners were most likely to fall prey to online scammers.
Professor Whitty presented her finding at the British Psychological Society Annual Conference on 19 April, held at the Grand Connaught Rooms, London

Dating Services

The concept of dating services is nothing new; it has a history of its own. Dating services have been of different varieties: initial, there’s the community dating service; second, the video dating service; third, the tv dating game; and fourth, the online dating service.

The community dating services make use of newspapers and community newsletters for posting their advertisements. This is able to need that the shoppers move to their workplace to avail themselves of the service. Such ads, being short, give just the fundamental information concerning the client. Though such services have the advantage that they guarantee the matching of various profiles, their biggest disadvantage is that they do not reach very far. Their services stay limited to the circulation of the paper. Also, their matchmaking services can’t be considered terribly helpful as a result of of the inadequate info in the profiles.

An offshoot of the community newsletter media, the video dating service involves users making a short personal video for the purpose of presenting themselves to prospective mates. Along with giving info about themselves, the video covers their expectations concerning the person they wish to meet. The match seekers turn out the video on their own or use the agencys office for shooting their footage. The videos are placed in a very library, that allows the users to determine them thus that they will try their potential mates.

The tv dating game became quite well-liked throughout the 1990s. It primarily involves one person, who is that the searcher (male or female), and 3 folks of the opposite sex, who are the aspirants. The aspirants should strive to answer, as candidly and honestly as doable, a group of questions which the searcher has ready. The searcher makes the choice based mostly on how well the potential mate answered. The catch of this game is that, sometimes, neither party is aware of what the opposite person appearance like, as they are separated by a curtain or a cover.

Of course, the most recent in the road appears to be online dating service, which could be a combination of all the 3 mentioned above. A comparatively a lot of informative profile can be posted, complete with photo. It’s conjointly potential to upload videos that show the searchers at their best.