Aren't you sick of hearing about how awful online dating is? I am.
Mostly because, I tried it and it worked out well for me. I not only met
my husband but also a bunch of other really nice guys. So why do people
bash it? Why do they give sweeping statements like, "It's awful" or
"the worst" without specifics on what they did or didn't do?
Not
long ago I met a woman who ended her 20-year marriage, and worried about
the prospect of dating again. When I asked her if she'd tried Internet
dating, she scoffed, "No way! A friend of mine did it and said it was
horrible."
Normally, that's where the conversation might end. But I
didn't let it go. I asked her how many dates her friend had been on.
She wasn't sure. I asked her specifically what her friend said that was
"horrible" about it. She didn't know.
As a writer, I need to get
to the heart of things. I wrote my book about how to create a profile
that gets attention after many daters complained to me that they weren't
getting the online attention they desired. Naturally, I asked this
woman more questions and she finally admitted that what scared her about
Internet dating was that she didn't "get it."
I think it's time for some real information about Internet dating, don't you think?
Don't Fear the Unknown
Online
dating scares some midlifers because they've never done it. Plain and
simple, they don't understand it. But Internet dating is actually one of
the best ways to get introduced to people. It's good for folks who are dating again or are very busy because of the variety of people on the site.
To really determine if Internet dating will work for you or not, you've got to: create a great profile, email people, set up a coffee date, and follow up. Without each one of those components, you aren't really Internet dating.
Don't Listen to Stories From Friends
It
takes a lot of things to make Internet dating work, and the first one
of those is attitude. If your friend tells you her experience "was
horrible," ask her some specifics. When I did this, I found that some
daters weren't ready to date at all, let alone online. Many of them
admitted that when they got emails from someone, they weren't ready to
meet them. Or they put up a lackluster profile half-thinking that if
they didn't get a response it would prove that Internet dating wouldn't
work anyway.
Self-sabotage happens when you're uncomfortable and
not ready for dating again. Just because a friend didn't enjoy Internet
dating doesn't mean you won't. Ask them plenty of questions so you can
learn from their experience.
Think of Internet Dating As an Introduction
Have
you ever asked a friend to set you up with someone? Internet dating
does the same thing. It's an introduction. It's not a way to have your
perfect mate delivered to your inbox without any work from you. You'll
have to make conversation and find out more about someone before you
decide if you like them enough for a real date, just like you would if a
friend introduced you to someone at a party.
The biggest mistake
midlifers make is assuming that they know someone online because they've
emailed a few times. They write off people who could be great for them
or assume that they've found a love match, all before they've even met
the person!
You're Bound to Meet Someone You Don't Click With
Another
thing I hear from those down on Internet dating is that they met
someone once that they didn't like. Well let me ask you, so then if a
friend sets you up, you always like that person? Or if you meet someone
out at a party, you always hit it off?
Of course not. You can meet
people you don't end up clicking with anywhere. You can meet them
yourself, talk with them at the grocery store, and then by the time you
go out decide that they're weird and you don't like them. The point is,
it takes time to find the right person, regardless of how you meet them.
Internet Dating Takes Time and Patience
I have yet to hear from someone that gave Internet dating a real
try (meaning that they put up a good profile, took the time to meet a
few folks, and spent three to six months giving it a shot) that said it
was horrible. Just the opposite. Very often, when someone tells me they
put in the time and patience that Internet dating requires, they ended
up meeting someone very special.
Like anything worthwhile in life, Internet is work. It takes time. If it's not for you, that's okay, because they are plenty of other ways to meet people. But if a friend wants to try it, be careful about casually bashing it just because you don't get it.
Saturday 28 July 2012
Thursday 5 July 2012
Three horror tales of online dating
With Internet dating a viable and popular choice, anyone going this
route still needs to decide how to select and be selected, judge and be
judged.
I say this because of the vast number of stories I hear about online dating disasters and disappointments. For every successful match with a prince/princess (yes, there are stories of extremely happy long-term relationships that started online) a lot of frogs of both genders clutter the path.
Here are some women’s horror stories from the online trenches. (I’ll be happy to publish men’s horror stories if you send them to me.)
I’ll follow up tomorrow, with advice to those who are tired of had online experiences.
Reader 1: “I found that out of all the men’s profiles I was sent, the vast majority contained lies, mostly about age. Or about how long they’d been out of a relationship, if at all. One man said he was living in a basement apartment and visiting his kids on weekends. It didn’t ring true, as he was in banking and talked about making a lot of money, so it seemed strange he was living in someone’s basement.
“On the third date, I insisted he take me to his apartment, as he’d hesitated when I’d previously asked questions about his place. One look and I knew he didn’t live there: no photos, no work-related papers, it looked unused.
“He protested that he wasn’t there much, but when I said I was never going out with him again so he might as well come clean, he confessed he still lived with his wife — but they never slept together. Yeah, right.”
Reader 2: “My profile says I’m athletic, love spending time doing sports and hiking, work in the physical health and fitness field and would never smoke. My photo shows a whole-body view of me in a dress. I am slim and toned. Yet many men who emailed me were visibly and heavily overweight and some were also smokers.
“On the second date with a fit-looking guy who was athletic (though 10 years older than he said), he suggested we stop going out on dates and just eat at home and watch TV.
“In my profile I noted that I love music and being out on the town. I hardly know the guy, so why would I want to settle down to a routine of staying home so fast? It wasn’t about money, because I paid my way on those first two dates, and he had a good job.
“I found that guys like him, in their 40s and never been married, are just too set in their ways.”
Reader 3: “Online dating really did my head in and wounded my self-esteem even though I’m an independent and accomplished woman. Even if I didn’t want to get serious with a guy, the repeated rejections became upsetting. I hadn’t expected to be pursued by everyone, but some people were just too cold. I liked one man enough to sleep with him after a few dates, and he never even texted me the next day or ever called again.
“Nothing negative happened when we had sex. He should’ve at least sent a courtesy text. He could’ve later explained that he’d started to see someone else, whatever.
“I hate the interview people do on those first dates — what could be less boring and more useless than ‘What’s your favourite colour?’ I’d come home whipped and depressed.”
I say this because of the vast number of stories I hear about online dating disasters and disappointments. For every successful match with a prince/princess (yes, there are stories of extremely happy long-term relationships that started online) a lot of frogs of both genders clutter the path.
Here are some women’s horror stories from the online trenches. (I’ll be happy to publish men’s horror stories if you send them to me.)
I’ll follow up tomorrow, with advice to those who are tired of had online experiences.
Reader 1: “I found that out of all the men’s profiles I was sent, the vast majority contained lies, mostly about age. Or about how long they’d been out of a relationship, if at all. One man said he was living in a basement apartment and visiting his kids on weekends. It didn’t ring true, as he was in banking and talked about making a lot of money, so it seemed strange he was living in someone’s basement.
“On the third date, I insisted he take me to his apartment, as he’d hesitated when I’d previously asked questions about his place. One look and I knew he didn’t live there: no photos, no work-related papers, it looked unused.
“He protested that he wasn’t there much, but when I said I was never going out with him again so he might as well come clean, he confessed he still lived with his wife — but they never slept together. Yeah, right.”
Reader 2: “My profile says I’m athletic, love spending time doing sports and hiking, work in the physical health and fitness field and would never smoke. My photo shows a whole-body view of me in a dress. I am slim and toned. Yet many men who emailed me were visibly and heavily overweight and some were also smokers.
“On the second date with a fit-looking guy who was athletic (though 10 years older than he said), he suggested we stop going out on dates and just eat at home and watch TV.
“In my profile I noted that I love music and being out on the town. I hardly know the guy, so why would I want to settle down to a routine of staying home so fast? It wasn’t about money, because I paid my way on those first two dates, and he had a good job.
“I found that guys like him, in their 40s and never been married, are just too set in their ways.”
Reader 3: “Online dating really did my head in and wounded my self-esteem even though I’m an independent and accomplished woman. Even if I didn’t want to get serious with a guy, the repeated rejections became upsetting. I hadn’t expected to be pursued by everyone, but some people were just too cold. I liked one man enough to sleep with him after a few dates, and he never even texted me the next day or ever called again.
“Nothing negative happened when we had sex. He should’ve at least sent a courtesy text. He could’ve later explained that he’d started to see someone else, whatever.
“I hate the interview people do on those first dates — what could be less boring and more useless than ‘What’s your favourite colour?’ I’d come home whipped and depressed.”
Wednesday 23 May 2012
Web scammers fleecing people looking for love
Online dating scam warning signs (DAVID HEMENWAY / Courier Graphic Artist)
WATERLOO, Iowa --- His name was Mark, or at least that's what he told her.
"He was good looking. His picture was, anyway," said the retired Waterloo nurse. She found Mark through an online dating service in January.
The picture he posted was a professional shot, like one might find of in the back of a hardcover novel showing the author.
The story he told her was fascinating.
But by April it was clear the tale Mark was spinning was fiction, and the 58-year-old woman, who asked not to be identified for reasons that will soon become evident, had lost more than $138,000 of her savings to a scam.
"It sucked me in, and I wanted to believe so much," she said.
The woman came forward to describe her ordeal in hopes that other vulnerable people won't fall for the same trap.
"Believe me, you are better off alone," she said.
Capt. Tim Pillack with the Waterloo Police Department confirmed investigators are looking into the con, which involved the woman sending tens of thousands of dollars in cashiers checks and using money transfer companies.
Experts say the scam is common, a variation of schemes that use fake Nigerian oil ministers or bogus sweepstakes. The only difference is the payoff for the victims is supposed to be romance, not lottery winnings.
According to a recently released FBI Internet crime report, authorities looked into 5,668 romance scams in 2011 with losses totaling $50 million. It was the fourth most commonly reported scheme behind work-at-home scams, loan scams and FBI agent impersonation.
"A lot of it we don't hear about, but the matters of the heart where emotions come into play, that's a strong situation," said Al Perales, an investigator with the Iowa Attorney General's Office Consumer Protection Division. "Scammers are all about human nature."
Perales has seen an increase in con artists using dating sites over the past three years, and most are targeting older residents.
The usual scheme involves hooking the victim using kind words and a photograph pilfered from social media or business profile websites.
A newer hook involves scammers claiming to be soldiers, said Frank Kiouna, who helps run RomanceScam.Com, a service to track fraud started in 2005.
In some cases the thief will ask for cash to cover travel expenses, medical bills or some other emergency. He or she may send the victim a check, asking to have it cashed and the money wired back. The check turns out to be counterfeit, and the bank takes the missing money from the victim's account.
"If the first money request has success, then they know they can try again," Kiouna said.
Mark said he was a soccer scout who lived in Nebraska and traveled the world with big bucks to recruit players for the L.A. Galaxy team. He was also planning to build a soccer camp in Nebraska.
The woman said it wasn't the money that drew her in --- she had a comfortable nest egg from savings and an inheritance --- nor was it his face.
She had lived in Nebraska, her father was from there, and she cherished the thought of someday returning to live in the state.
She was starting to develop Parkinson's disease and wasn't looking forward to growing old alone.
Mark, it seemed, was willing to look past her foibles.
They emailed each other and talked on the phone but never met in person.
He said he took off to Malaysia to scout players there and had a $6 million budget. What he didn't spend to sign the players was his to keep.
But he said he was only given a portion of the money to work with, and after three weeks, he needed money to pay taxes and seal the deal. Could she loan him $65,000?
She agreed, and after the first loan, other expenses kept popping up. The woman was concerned that if she didn't pay, Mark would lose the deal, and she wouldn't get her money back.
"It just snowballed, and I kept sending more and more," she said.
Eventually, her bank became suspicious and wouldn't let her wire from her account because it smelled like a scam. Then services like Western Union blocked her for the same reasons.
Relatives and friends warned her, and the woman admitted there were other red flags.
Mark spoke with what he claimed was an inherited accent acquired from Kentucky and Oxford or growing up with Italians and Jamaicans. Police would later tell her it was likely Russian.
One of Mark's associates, who claimed to work for the Galaxy team, wrote in shattered grammar, at one point explaining the "paper works" that needed to be completed to move the money.
And aside from the book-jacket style profile portrait, there were no other pictures, no casual snapshots or vacation pictures. Of course, there couldn't be if the photo was of someone else.
The biggest clue, experts said, was the fact he asked for money.
In the back of her mind, she thought it was likely a scam. But she was torn. There was always the chance it wasn't, and if she didn't continue to help she might not get her money back.
The victim began to admit to herself what she had long suspected during Mark's last request for cash.
He was supposed to fly back to the states so they could sign an agreement that would get her on the path to recovering what she had invested. First he needed a plane ticket and money for other expenses.
But the wiring service had locked her out, so she went to her bank in hopes of getting a cashiers check to send to one of Mark's associates in Florida who could forward the money.
The bank teller refused to sell her the check and called the bank manager in on her day off. In the discussion that followed, the woman broke down, spilling her whole story to the manager.
"It was a huge weight off my shoulders," the woman said.
After she quit sending money, Mark mailed her a $55,000 check and asked her to send back a portion of it. Authorities checked with the bank that allegedly issued it and discovered it was bogus before any money changed hands.
Resigned to the fact she won't recover her losses, the woman has changed her phone number and email addresses. She also entered an identity theft protection program because one of the wire transfers had her Social Security number on it.
But she hasn't given up on finding Mr. Right.
"People say don't stop trusting others," she said.
She met another person through an Internet dating service, and they went on a real date.
Part of Perales' job at the Consumer Protection Division involves talking to relatives of victims who want to help victims see the light.
"They have tunnel vision, and they don't pay attention to all the red flags around them because they are in love," Perales said.
He suggests quizzing the supposed love interest during a phone call. If he says he's from the United States, ask something that should be common knowledge to average Americans. If he says he's a doctor, he should know what a patella is.
When a victim swears the online friend is for real, Perales suggests a friend give him a ring.
Kiouna said there are also a number technological checks one can run. For instance, run the email address through a search engine, or do the same with any poetry they send. Chances are an anti-scam website has it cataloged.
Relationship scams can be reported to the Federal Trade Commission at ftc.gov or 1 (877) 382-4357, the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center at www.ic3.gov, or local police.
"He was good looking. His picture was, anyway," said the retired Waterloo nurse. She found Mark through an online dating service in January.
The picture he posted was a professional shot, like one might find of in the back of a hardcover novel showing the author.
The story he told her was fascinating.
But by April it was clear the tale Mark was spinning was fiction, and the 58-year-old woman, who asked not to be identified for reasons that will soon become evident, had lost more than $138,000 of her savings to a scam.
"It sucked me in, and I wanted to believe so much," she said.
The woman came forward to describe her ordeal in hopes that other vulnerable people won't fall for the same trap.
"Believe me, you are better off alone," she said.
Capt. Tim Pillack with the Waterloo Police Department confirmed investigators are looking into the con, which involved the woman sending tens of thousands of dollars in cashiers checks and using money transfer companies.
Experts say the scam is common, a variation of schemes that use fake Nigerian oil ministers or bogus sweepstakes. The only difference is the payoff for the victims is supposed to be romance, not lottery winnings.
According to a recently released FBI Internet crime report, authorities looked into 5,668 romance scams in 2011 with losses totaling $50 million. It was the fourth most commonly reported scheme behind work-at-home scams, loan scams and FBI agent impersonation.
"A lot of it we don't hear about, but the matters of the heart where emotions come into play, that's a strong situation," said Al Perales, an investigator with the Iowa Attorney General's Office Consumer Protection Division. "Scammers are all about human nature."
Perales has seen an increase in con artists using dating sites over the past three years, and most are targeting older residents.
The usual scheme involves hooking the victim using kind words and a photograph pilfered from social media or business profile websites.
A newer hook involves scammers claiming to be soldiers, said Frank Kiouna, who helps run RomanceScam.Com, a service to track fraud started in 2005.
In some cases the thief will ask for cash to cover travel expenses, medical bills or some other emergency. He or she may send the victim a check, asking to have it cashed and the money wired back. The check turns out to be counterfeit, and the bank takes the missing money from the victim's account.
"If the first money request has success, then they know they can try again," Kiouna said.
Mark said he was a soccer scout who lived in Nebraska and traveled the world with big bucks to recruit players for the L.A. Galaxy team. He was also planning to build a soccer camp in Nebraska.
The woman said it wasn't the money that drew her in --- she had a comfortable nest egg from savings and an inheritance --- nor was it his face.
She had lived in Nebraska, her father was from there, and she cherished the thought of someday returning to live in the state.
She was starting to develop Parkinson's disease and wasn't looking forward to growing old alone.
Mark, it seemed, was willing to look past her foibles.
They emailed each other and talked on the phone but never met in person.
He said he took off to Malaysia to scout players there and had a $6 million budget. What he didn't spend to sign the players was his to keep.
But he said he was only given a portion of the money to work with, and after three weeks, he needed money to pay taxes and seal the deal. Could she loan him $65,000?
She agreed, and after the first loan, other expenses kept popping up. The woman was concerned that if she didn't pay, Mark would lose the deal, and she wouldn't get her money back.
"It just snowballed, and I kept sending more and more," she said.
Eventually, her bank became suspicious and wouldn't let her wire from her account because it smelled like a scam. Then services like Western Union blocked her for the same reasons.
Relatives and friends warned her, and the woman admitted there were other red flags.
Mark spoke with what he claimed was an inherited accent acquired from Kentucky and Oxford or growing up with Italians and Jamaicans. Police would later tell her it was likely Russian.
One of Mark's associates, who claimed to work for the Galaxy team, wrote in shattered grammar, at one point explaining the "paper works" that needed to be completed to move the money.
And aside from the book-jacket style profile portrait, there were no other pictures, no casual snapshots or vacation pictures. Of course, there couldn't be if the photo was of someone else.
The biggest clue, experts said, was the fact he asked for money.
In the back of her mind, she thought it was likely a scam. But she was torn. There was always the chance it wasn't, and if she didn't continue to help she might not get her money back.
The victim began to admit to herself what she had long suspected during Mark's last request for cash.
He was supposed to fly back to the states so they could sign an agreement that would get her on the path to recovering what she had invested. First he needed a plane ticket and money for other expenses.
But the wiring service had locked her out, so she went to her bank in hopes of getting a cashiers check to send to one of Mark's associates in Florida who could forward the money.
The bank teller refused to sell her the check and called the bank manager in on her day off. In the discussion that followed, the woman broke down, spilling her whole story to the manager.
"It was a huge weight off my shoulders," the woman said.
After she quit sending money, Mark mailed her a $55,000 check and asked her to send back a portion of it. Authorities checked with the bank that allegedly issued it and discovered it was bogus before any money changed hands.
Resigned to the fact she won't recover her losses, the woman has changed her phone number and email addresses. She also entered an identity theft protection program because one of the wire transfers had her Social Security number on it.
But she hasn't given up on finding Mr. Right.
"People say don't stop trusting others," she said.
She met another person through an Internet dating service, and they went on a real date.
Part of Perales' job at the Consumer Protection Division involves talking to relatives of victims who want to help victims see the light.
"They have tunnel vision, and they don't pay attention to all the red flags around them because they are in love," Perales said.
He suggests quizzing the supposed love interest during a phone call. If he says he's from the United States, ask something that should be common knowledge to average Americans. If he says he's a doctor, he should know what a patella is.
When a victim swears the online friend is for real, Perales suggests a friend give him a ring.
Kiouna said there are also a number technological checks one can run. For instance, run the email address through a search engine, or do the same with any poetry they send. Chances are an anti-scam website has it cataloged.
Relationship scams can be reported to the Federal Trade Commission at ftc.gov or 1 (877) 382-4357, the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center at www.ic3.gov, or local police.
Monday 21 May 2012
By Claire Rutter On May 18, 2012 The Saturdays Vows To Find Mollie King A Boyfriend
Mollie King is trying so hard to prove that she's not going out with Prince Harry that she's revealed that she'll even try online dating to bag herself a new man, and The Saturdays will help her.
During an appearance on ITV1's Lorraine, the blonde pop star revealed that she wanted a new man but that she didn't really know where to find an eligible bachelor.
“I'm single, so the girls are going to set me up on dates I hope,” she explained. “I don't really know where I can meet people."
But it was Frankie Sandford who revealed that online dating is their next experiment to find a man. "We're going to set her up on online dating!", before Mollie added: “Set up my own little account."
Rochelle, who is engaged to Marvin Humes from JLS, knew what she was talking about as she said: "There's even ones for men in uniforms now!"
Mollie said: “I know, I saw that! Uniform Dating that one. Bring me a nice sailor and I'm yes [punches the air], Ahoy!”
Rochelle added: “She keeps getting loads of offers, everyone's always texting me.”
The Saturdays were performing on the show, where they sang their latest single and met David Cameron.
Mollie & Frankie Go Blazing...
Online Dating Gets a Little Less Virtual
Online dating, it’s now universally agreed, has its limits. Among the
two biggest glitches: dates who look nothing like their profile
pictures and dates who are happy to email but decline to ever actually
go on a bodily, non-virtual date. In an effort to combat such digital
diversionary tactics, one of the biggest online dating services,
Match.com, has decided to get people out from behind their computers to
come out and play. Ironic, no?
Regular dating has its glitches too, including extreme initial awkwardness when two people first meet and the even extremer awkwardness of the next few hours when a date proves to be a nonstarter. Match.com believes that with its database of single-but-searching folks, its algorithm for finding compatibility and a little bit of alcohol, it can put together a heck of a singles mixer.
(MORE: Survey Says, He’s Just Not That Into Being Single)
The company has been quietly inviting members to gatherings for the past few years — so far, it has hosted about 60 singles events. After all, it knows where the singles are, and it knows what they say they like. So encouraged has Match been by the results, it’s just launched an event service known as Stir, which will host 2,000 to 3,000 singles parties a year, hitting 24 cities in June and 70 in September.
Since everyone at the events is looking for a date, the awkwardness is a shared burden and will be easier to shrug off, reasons the company. Also, the dating service is digging deep into its database of 3 million singles, so it can slice and dice the guest list. If it wanted to host a singles event on the south side of Topeka in which everybody was a single parent between the ages of 30 and 40 with an interest in Shar-Pei breeding, it could do that — all while making sure that the ratio of male to female dog lovers is perfectly balanced.
Many companies have already tried to spin their online presence into a singles meetup business, including Howaboutwe, Grouper and even local public radio stations. Match.com’s advantage here is the size of its singles pool and the depth of information it has about their preferences.
Match’s VP of Strategy and Analytics Amarnath Thombre says the Stir meet-ups are not in response to recent studies that have questioned the effectiveness of compatibility algorithms such as the one Match.com offers but a natural area of development for a company that just wants to get people together. Nevertheless it seems to suggest that online dating might have found its natural limits; it cannot find a mathematical formula for chemistry.
(MORE: Advice for Online Daters: If You’re a Guy, Don’t Smile)
To say the dating company has high ambitions for Stir is an understatement. Match considers its foray into the offline world the biggest news in its 17 years of existence. “We will be the largest singles event company in the world,” predicts Match.com president Mandy Ginsberg. “We could potentially serve half a million people a year.” She also waxes about spurring local economies and revitalizing downtown areas by bringing customers to the local bars where the gatherings take place.
Stir will offer two kinds of events: mixers that come along with monthly membership and activity-specific mixers — a class in mixology or cooking or wine-tasting that attendees will pay extra for. It’s also developing a series of online getting-to-know you games that users who can’t get away from home — half of Match.com’s members are single parents — can use to playfully find out about their potential dates. The games are Family Feud-ish; both players have to answer an opinion question and then compare answers. “Online dating has been an effective way to meet, but it’s not always the best way to get to know someone,” says Ginsberg.
But even games are not nearly as effective a matchmaking tool as actual meetings, acknowledges Ginsburg. “Getting people in front of each other is so important.” In other words, single people, stop reading now.
Regular dating has its glitches too, including extreme initial awkwardness when two people first meet and the even extremer awkwardness of the next few hours when a date proves to be a nonstarter. Match.com believes that with its database of single-but-searching folks, its algorithm for finding compatibility and a little bit of alcohol, it can put together a heck of a singles mixer.
(MORE: Survey Says, He’s Just Not That Into Being Single)
The company has been quietly inviting members to gatherings for the past few years — so far, it has hosted about 60 singles events. After all, it knows where the singles are, and it knows what they say they like. So encouraged has Match been by the results, it’s just launched an event service known as Stir, which will host 2,000 to 3,000 singles parties a year, hitting 24 cities in June and 70 in September.
Since everyone at the events is looking for a date, the awkwardness is a shared burden and will be easier to shrug off, reasons the company. Also, the dating service is digging deep into its database of 3 million singles, so it can slice and dice the guest list. If it wanted to host a singles event on the south side of Topeka in which everybody was a single parent between the ages of 30 and 40 with an interest in Shar-Pei breeding, it could do that — all while making sure that the ratio of male to female dog lovers is perfectly balanced.
Many companies have already tried to spin their online presence into a singles meetup business, including Howaboutwe, Grouper and even local public radio stations. Match.com’s advantage here is the size of its singles pool and the depth of information it has about their preferences.
Match’s VP of Strategy and Analytics Amarnath Thombre says the Stir meet-ups are not in response to recent studies that have questioned the effectiveness of compatibility algorithms such as the one Match.com offers but a natural area of development for a company that just wants to get people together. Nevertheless it seems to suggest that online dating might have found its natural limits; it cannot find a mathematical formula for chemistry.
(MORE: Advice for Online Daters: If You’re a Guy, Don’t Smile)
To say the dating company has high ambitions for Stir is an understatement. Match considers its foray into the offline world the biggest news in its 17 years of existence. “We will be the largest singles event company in the world,” predicts Match.com president Mandy Ginsberg. “We could potentially serve half a million people a year.” She also waxes about spurring local economies and revitalizing downtown areas by bringing customers to the local bars where the gatherings take place.
Stir will offer two kinds of events: mixers that come along with monthly membership and activity-specific mixers — a class in mixology or cooking or wine-tasting that attendees will pay extra for. It’s also developing a series of online getting-to-know you games that users who can’t get away from home — half of Match.com’s members are single parents — can use to playfully find out about their potential dates. The games are Family Feud-ish; both players have to answer an opinion question and then compare answers. “Online dating has been an effective way to meet, but it’s not always the best way to get to know someone,” says Ginsberg.
But even games are not nearly as effective a matchmaking tool as actual meetings, acknowledges Ginsburg. “Getting people in front of each other is so important.” In other words, single people, stop reading now.
Wednesday 9 May 2012
Tuesday 1 May 2012
Stargazer Video Chat Celebrates One Million Visitors to its Online Dating and Video Chat Website this Year
Stargazer Video Chat,
a unique video chat rooms and online dating site, has recently
announced that it has passed the one million visitor watershed already
this year. This is a simple service with a plethora of features designed
to make meeting other single people a simple, safe and fun experience.
Free online dating sites have matured significantly in recent years, and users now expect their site of choice to be equipped with the kinds of features which facilitate simple and secure networking. Stargazer Video Chat designed its website to be simple and to the point, which appeals to the current generation of users, who are tired of searchable profiles and want a simple way to meet others.
Stargazer Video Chat understands that in the world of many dating sites it is important to provide an exceptional value to its users, and the most important factor in online dating is an ability to participate in an active dating community and to be able to see and meet many people. Extended user profiles and a very advanced search function helps singles to find, connect and communicate with the kind of people they are attracted to, but there is nothing like being able to meet others using live video chat without relying on automated match making.
The inclusion of live video chat is a key feature that Stargazer Video Chat is using as the backbone of its online dating site. By allowing people to see, speak and communicate with each other in real time, Stargazer Video Chat has removed the limits of purely text based communication. This also solves problems that are traditionally associated with people using fake or outdated information in their profiles. By using the video chat feature, people can instantly evaluate the other party, which prevents people from becoming attached to another individual who is in realty, nothing like the person they describe themselves.
Andre Starr, the founder of Stargazer Video Chat, adds: "I am pleased to have hit the one million visitor mark so early this year, and believe that the reason for this sharp increase in traffic is the quality of our community. I always aim to bring something new to the market, something fresh that makes people say Wow! This is cool! I aim to provide a very social experience, more of a community than a peer to peer style of online dating. I think this is a good balance between personal security and the ability to freely connect with people. Having over a million visitors since the beginning of the year leads me to believe we have got things right."
Stargazer Video Chat operates within a very competitive market. The strategy it has employed, to provide an innovative type of online dating site, should help it to continue developing its position as one of the most unique online dating sites.
Free online dating sites have matured significantly in recent years, and users now expect their site of choice to be equipped with the kinds of features which facilitate simple and secure networking. Stargazer Video Chat designed its website to be simple and to the point, which appeals to the current generation of users, who are tired of searchable profiles and want a simple way to meet others.
Stargazer Video Chat understands that in the world of many dating sites it is important to provide an exceptional value to its users, and the most important factor in online dating is an ability to participate in an active dating community and to be able to see and meet many people. Extended user profiles and a very advanced search function helps singles to find, connect and communicate with the kind of people they are attracted to, but there is nothing like being able to meet others using live video chat without relying on automated match making.
The inclusion of live video chat is a key feature that Stargazer Video Chat is using as the backbone of its online dating site. By allowing people to see, speak and communicate with each other in real time, Stargazer Video Chat has removed the limits of purely text based communication. This also solves problems that are traditionally associated with people using fake or outdated information in their profiles. By using the video chat feature, people can instantly evaluate the other party, which prevents people from becoming attached to another individual who is in realty, nothing like the person they describe themselves.
Andre Starr, the founder of Stargazer Video Chat, adds: "I am pleased to have hit the one million visitor mark so early this year, and believe that the reason for this sharp increase in traffic is the quality of our community. I always aim to bring something new to the market, something fresh that makes people say Wow! This is cool! I aim to provide a very social experience, more of a community than a peer to peer style of online dating. I think this is a good balance between personal security and the ability to freely connect with people. Having over a million visitors since the beginning of the year leads me to believe we have got things right."
Stargazer Video Chat operates within a very competitive market. The strategy it has employed, to provide an innovative type of online dating site, should help it to continue developing its position as one of the most unique online dating sites.
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