With Internet dating a viable and popular choice, anyone going this
route still needs to decide how to select and be selected, judge and be
judged.
I say this because of the vast number
of stories I hear about online dating disasters and disappointments.
For every successful match with a prince/princess (yes, there are
stories of extremely happy long-term relationships that started online) a
lot of frogs of both genders clutter the path.
Here are some women’s horror stories
from the online trenches. (I’ll be happy to publish men’s horror stories
if you send them to me.)
I’ll follow up tomorrow, with advice to those who are tired of had online experiences.
Reader 1: “I found that out of
all the men’s profiles I was sent, the vast majority contained lies,
mostly about age. Or about how long they’d been out of a relationship,
if at all. One man said he was living in a basement apartment and
visiting his kids on weekends. It didn’t ring true, as he was in banking
and talked about making a lot of money, so it seemed strange he was
living in someone’s basement.
“On the third date, I insisted he
take me to his apartment, as he’d hesitated when I’d previously asked
questions about his place. One look and I knew he didn’t live there: no
photos, no work-related papers, it looked unused.
“He protested that he wasn’t there
much, but when I said I was never going out with him again so he might
as well come clean, he confessed he still lived with his wife — but they
never slept together. Yeah, right.”
Reader 2: “My profile says I’m
athletic, love spending time doing sports and hiking, work in the
physical health and fitness field and would never smoke. My photo shows a
whole-body view of me in a dress. I am slim and toned. Yet many men who
emailed me were visibly and heavily overweight and some were also
smokers.
“On the second date with a
fit-looking guy who was athletic (though 10 years older than he said),
he suggested we stop going out on dates and just eat at home and watch
TV.
“In my profile I noted that I love
music and being out on the town. I hardly know the guy, so why would I
want to settle down to a routine of staying home so fast? It wasn’t
about money, because I paid my way on those first two dates, and he had a
good job.
“I found that guys like him, in their 40s and never been married, are just too set in their ways.”
Reader 3: “Online dating
really did my head in and wounded my self-esteem even though I’m an
independent and accomplished woman. Even if I didn’t want to get serious
with a guy, the repeated rejections became upsetting. I hadn’t expected
to be pursued by everyone, but some people were just too cold. I liked
one man enough to sleep with him after a few dates, and he never even
texted me the next day or ever called again.
“Nothing negative happened when we
had sex. He should’ve at least sent a courtesy text. He could’ve later
explained that he’d started to see someone else, whatever.
“I hate the interview people do on
those first dates — what could be less boring and more useless than
‘What’s your favourite colour?’ I’d come home whipped and depressed.”
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